drown in your own rubber pool backyard?

fall off a really high building?

walk down the street and some gansters start running after you and shoot at you?

you'll just get so frustrated you'll smash your head on the wall so hard it will split?

you'll drive your bicycle hit a small pebble get thrown at the road and a truck hits you?

you won't die!

you'll roast your own eyeballs (because you thought they were cheese) until they are fried properly and eat them? and bleed to death from your skull?

you'll sit on a bench and get a heart attack and die miserably?

Other option (it has to be freakkish!)

i eat squirrels.